Young Ares


.He walked over toward her slowly, almost like a sleek jungle cat approaching its prey. She felt an excited rush go through her body. As he approached her, he said softly; “Go with me Isis. She agreed as he took her hand. They walked to a place where they could be alone. She looked into his crystal blue eyes and could see his passion for her. He leaned down and kissed her gently, but forcefully on the lips. He looked into her golden eyes and smiled. Gently stroking her bottom lip with his thumb he said; “You are the girl of my dreams.” Then he kissed her again. She felt with him, she was safe to be who she really is. A girl in love with a boy named Kyle

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Whitney Heichel: A Life Cut Short


Whitney Heichel, not anyone I personally knew or even ever met. But still I feel like I knew her. She had this amazing smile, like electricity! She had the sweetest eyes, like the eyes of a doe. She had a charm about her that came across in all her photos. She was so beautiful.

She was someones daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, Grand daughter, niece, friend, spiritual sister. She was a great many things to a great many people. As seen in all the facebook comments on her memorial page.

People from all over the world commenting about their spiritual sister they never met. But still loved, as family. Countless people hoping for her safe return, Witness and non Witness looking for her in the cold trying to find her, hoping she would still be found alive. ‘

But to their sad terror, she was found dumped like garbage on the side of a road on Larch Mountain in Oregon. Why this story has touched so many is because of the character of Whitney, she was the kind of person who was willing to help someone in need. And known to be always on time and a good christian. She was newly married and loved her Husband so much! There was nothing in her profile that suggested otherwise!

The pig who took her young life had the nerve to even show up to one of the meetings for her search and rescue… the whole time knowing she was dead.

What he did to her is unspeakable! I dont even want to really know all the extent of his violence toward someone so harmless! She was such a classic beauty. And like a rose….gone all too soon!

John 5:28,29 is the promise she has to look forward to, She will hear Jesus call her name to wake up and come out of her memorial tomb… and she will awaken to a new paradise earth where she will have no memories of the sick day that ended with her violent death, and she will see her family and loved ones again. Tears of joy will be shed and everyone will be so excited to welcome Whitney and so many others back form the death state they were held captive in!

The true justice will come from Jehovah God… not man.

But mans court will have to do for now, Lets hope her killer gets to see the wrath of Jehovah for what he has done!

May there be true peace and happiness for her Husband Clinton, and her Mother, father and sisters and brother….. May they all have comfort from the Bible and Jehovah’s promise that soon all bad things will come to an end and there will only be the paradise earth and loving mankind in it!

Praise Jehovah all you people!     Wallpaper, desktop, yellow, roses, content, digital, uploads

Before You Killed Me…


I remember being a small and happy little girl. Always smiling, and laughing. Full of joy and imagination. 

Seeing the world as a big place full of surprises and joy. I remember thinking you were the best person in the world. My protector, someone to look up to, someone who would chase the monsters away. 

I remember having a dream of being an actress… living in Hollywood making movies like Marilyn Monroe. 

I remember thinking my life was pretty good. 

I remember having friends, I remember going to play with those friends and spending the night at their houses and they would stay at ours.

I remember when you and mom chose to move to the farm. I didn’t want to go and leave my friends and school. 

I remember attending a school in the south, being from Chicago it was a real culture shock! I remember not being allowed to have any friends, not allowed to go to their houses or let them call me or come to mine. I remember living on that farm I didn’t ask to live on out in the middle of no where and seeing my childhood melt into nothingness. I remember being so small and having to feed giant cows and pigs at the crack of dawn with my brothers and mother, while my eldest sister slept in her bad. 

I remember seeing my brothers get beat for not doing their jobs right, I remember being beat for not doing mine. And yet where were YOU? Oh I remember standing over to the side of the barn yelling  obscenities at us. I remember the nasty names you called my brothers and I. Some names also were insulting to our mother! I remember how you ripped my hair out by its roots on several occasions, how you pulled a shotgun out at my big brother and how you viciously beat my little brothers and I. 

I remember when you decided 
I shouldn’t have a happy childhood anymore…. You molested me! You Killed ME! I died at the age of 11. Who ever I was supposed to be … you killed her! You stole everything from me. My safety, my innocence, my happiness, my joy, my dreams, my life, my virginity! You stole all that from me and to this day, try to justify your sick and deranged actions! You killed me! You took everything I was supposed to be and destroyed it! You beat me, kicked me, ripped my hair out, threatened to RAPE me ( as if you weren’t already) kicked the skin off the back of my leg because I wasn’t moving fast enough picking up garbage in the woods. And now all I can do is remember who I was before you killed me! That little girl seems to be a fairy tale to me now. Not real just a story someone told me once and image in a photo of someone I never knew! The anger that lives inside me and the nightmares that come to life every night to this day are the result of what you did to me! 

I will never forgive you for killing the girl I was to be… before you killed me! 

Image The End

My vents and Lessons Learned


I know if you are reading my blog you already know I am a Chris Brown fan ( Team Breezy) and a huge life long Michael Jackson fan. I also have allot to say about my views on things. I just went back and read some of the things I wrote and I have to say… its actually pretty good. I especially like my review on the Conrad Murray trial… you know the guy who murdered Michael Jackson. I actually impressed myself. And did notice a few mistakes, but for the most part it was well written I have to say..

I recently read and then re-read the Hunger Games novel series… LOVED them and loved the movie as well. Very well told story, very well acted movie. Everything was so well done that your imagination was totally matched by the visuals of the film!! Excellent!! Looking forward to The Hunger Games Catching Fire… that one is going to be just awesome! Can’t wait!

As I sit here tonight thinking of what I want to say, And listening to music. I think about the last three years, how much my life has changed. How much I have changed. Being obsessed over one thing then on another. Totally blinded to what really matters. Then to come to now and see I am more focused and trying my best to only improve myself and my life. I made it out ofthe retail trap and am now working for a very good company! No more standing all day!! Thank God for that!

I know I still have allot as a person to achieve and still some growing to do. But the best thing I can say I did was tonight when I sent a letter of apology to a former friend who I know I hurt deeply and couldn’t let myself go on another year and not apologize for my bad behavior. I felt it was important to apologize and let the past finally go! I can only hope she accepts my sincere apology as it was well thought over and written from the heart.She was my very good friend and I cut off the friendship over a misunderstanding… on my part. And I know I had to have hurt her deeply. And I never like to hurt anyone. But no excuses I apologized and I can only hope she does believe me and we can somehow be friends again. Only time can tell.

Friends are forever and we take them for granted sometime and hurt them with our words. Remember your friends are your friends because they see a worth in you that YOU cant see.

treasure them….                  Image

Hater… A Poem


Told a story and it wasn’t true , tried to get me caught up, but your wicked plan fell threw. Now you lookin stupid and egg on your face cuz, your lie just lost the race. Added a story and tried to make it work but all you came up with was making yourself look like a jerk! Just you keep watchin as I skate bye cuz hater keep yellin I cant hear you I’m living up so high!

Living my life and yeah I’m better I know its true, cuz I know how to love …. cant say the same for you! Haters hate with a black heart.
spoken lies that is your only art. No imagination and a twisted soul, you are what Charlie Sheen would call a Troll!
No one wants to be your friend because they all know you’ll turn on them in the end your true self is beginin to show.

Hater keep hatin’ with all your schemes and lies because you smellin rotten and your words draw flies! Keep your heart so black as night, make sure no one can see the light! Spoken like a liar spreadin your lies like fire, you still cant get me I only fly higher! Time for you to understand Your words fall threw because everyone’s finally seeing the real you!

What is a fan? and whose on a Team?


 The music industry has many very talented artists that are admired by many people. Depending on who you talk to one may identify their self as a fan of, or on Team whomever. So what does make a fan? First of all lets look where the word “FAN” from…. Merriam-Webster, the Oxford dictionary and other recognized sources define it as a shortened version of the word fanatic, and the word did first become popular in reference to an enthusiastic follower of a baseball team. (Fanatic itself, introduced into English around 1550, means “marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion”. It comes from the Modern Latin fanaticus, meaning “insanely but divinely inspired”. The word originally pertained to a temple or sacred place [Latin fanum, poetic English fane]. The modern sense of “extremely zealous” dates from around 1647; the use of fanatic as a noun dates from 1650.)

Fanatic, the word alone sounds crazy. No wonder a lot of people would rather say the are an admirer of a celebrity then a fan! When one hears the word FAN the image of screaming girls, and frantic scenes come to mind. Such as Beatlemania in the 60’s, The images of frantic screaming girls who have lost all sense of their selves, crying, and ripping and tearing at the Fab Four come to mind. It looks to be dangerous from any angle that you  look at it.

Female fans are far more scary than any other I have witnessed.   I was at an event where Chris Brown was attending, as he and other celebs were leaving everyone was standing on risers. some of us had places against a railing. I was one of those lucky railing spectators. As Chris Brown ran by to avoid being attacked by over zealous girls one female fan literally crawled onto my back just to TRY to get to Chris Brown. I was pushed over the railing and almost off the stairs completely, I looked right into the eyes of Mr. Brown and saw what he must have been feeling… A little surprised. But he couldn’t be more surprised than I was… I was about to fall on my head all because some girl lost her mind and used me as her personal ladder to Chris Brown. After he went into the area the stars were only allowed to go. Then the crazed girl climbed off my back. My son, who was standing next to me was worried that the girl would not only hurt me but push me over the railing. I was about maybe 5 to 10 feet off the ground.

Still these kinds of scenes happen at celebrity events every day. Michael Jackson wrote in his Biography that some times fans forget what they are doing and people did get hurt. He said he and his brothers were hurt numerous times during their careers. There are actual youtube videos of Michael being mobbed by fans. Many photos where his security has to block him off so he could get into his car without being attacked. He said he has had his hair ripped out by its roots by girls who just had to have a piece of him. Or even jewelry ripped off to the point of pain and bleeding. He described it as a form of love, but losing ones self in the moment.

And in recent history two baseball fans got into an altercation, which left one of them beaten so badly that he had to be hospitalized and the one who did the beating wanted by the law. Nothing and no one is worth all that. If someone insults your favorite celebrity or Team… it’s better to ignore them then to feed into what they are saying.

Team; Dictionary.com :

1. Sports & Games A group on the same side, as in a game.
2. A group organized to work together: a team of engineers.
                         Dedication of one kind or another brings about the terms which ever you wish to associate your self with. Chris brown fans, Much like Michael Jackson fans are well-meaning and do support their celebrity to the maximum. They know every word to every song, buy all the C.D’s and anything else they may do or have done. Most of them are pretty well-behaved and respectful. And actually care about the PERSON not just the star.
   Michael’s fans .. .the true fans. Stayed devoted to him and his music. They knew he would never harm anyone much less a child. Michael was a one of a kind and there will never be another like him. We all miss him so much every day. And the world seems so much smaller without him in it!
Back to subject… So now we have fans ( for a lack of a better word ) Calling their selves Teams.. such as Team Breezy,… Navy’s… Such as Rihanna Navy… Little Monsters… Lady GaGa fans… ect, ect.. All of them are pretty much the same thing they are all ardent fans of their beloved celebrities. They will buy their music and memorabilia, they will attend every concert if they can. They will go where ever they think the celebrity may be and even stand outside their homes hoping to get a glimpse at the one who is their focus.
So what are you? A Fan, or on a Team, a supporter, or an admirer? What ever you claim to be… it’s all the same FANDEMONIUM. And all these celebrities are where they are because of the Fans, Teams, Navy’s, Monsters, Admirers, or just one who appreciates.  Everyone is a fan. But it’s what you do in the name of being one that defines the kind of fan you are. After all  John Lennon had fans and he knew one day one would come up and just shoot him dead. He even mentioned this in an interview, Then in December 1980… his words came true. Mark David Chapman, walked straight up to Mr. Lennon and said “John Lennon” when John turned around Chapman shot him point-blank, John died shortly after. All in the name of being a Fan. This is a classic example of an obsessed fan. Chapman later said he wanted to be Lennon, so he killed him because that was the only way he could have the fame Lennon had. There are so many examples of fans gone way wrong. Obsession isn’t healthy and if your admiration for a celebrity starts to make you think irrationally you might want to re-think what you are possibly going to do all  in the name of being a FAN!
Yes one day Chris Brown will get married. But most likely it wont be to a fan. It will be to a young woman who has known him for a long time. Some one he trusts. But not a fan. When Michael Jackson married Lisa Marie, she was not a fan. She knew who he was, but she was not a fan. She came from money, and had her own as well. Michael knew she wouldn’t marry him for his money. And she didn’t. She never asked for a cent just the divorce. That was it! Though Debbie Rowe was admittedly a fan, she also knew Michael personally, He trusted her and she became the mother to two of his three children. Yes she did come into money after her divorce from Michael. Under California State laws, she was entitled to the money as she was married to him long enough to receive spousal support. Michael had full custody of the children, so she did not receive any child support . There are rumors that she struck a deal with Katherine Jackson to give her custody of  Prince and Paris, But according to Rowe and others no such money deal was made, Just signing of legal documents.
So if you are a fan… know you aren’t the only one. And know that these celebrities are flawed individuals, they make mistakes and they will marry people who most likely aren’t you. But to dream of the possibilities… That is your right. Me personally I am a Michael Jackson fan, yeah as a young teen girl I wanted to marry him, I even prayed for it. But it didn’t happen. He did his thing I moved on with my life and got married to someone else. And I have four great kids because of that marriage. I do remember that little wish I had as a young girl and the prayers I said. But then I did in fact like Wendy in Peter Pan…I grew up… so did my Peter Pan.
 I love Chris Browns music and his dancing abilities. His stage presence and his personality. He is funny and full of joy. He is so much fun to watch. I plan to see him in concert… and more than likely if I do I will get some crazed girl screaming in my ears, or trying to climb over me to get to him again… but it was fun before, so it will be again… I even laughed the first time.  It did scare me…. a little.
So who are you Fan, Team, Navy, Monster, Admirer, Supporter… You only can decide.

Who Do You Think You Are?


Isn’t it funny how when you’re a kid… and you feel the need to sound off at your parents the question always asked is; “Who Do You Think you Are?” Why do parents ask this question? I mean what is it we, as parents expect to hear? ” I don’t know mom, superman I guess!”

Seriously asking a loaded question to a kid can result in getting what you ask for. I remember my little brother was to get in trouble for lying. When we were kids, he would lie so much the carpets were jealous! So our father calls him into the living room, Ready to make an example of the little liar. He has my little brother sit on his lap to have a serious talk with him.

So the old man goes into some long-winded speech of how lying is serious and can not go with out punishment. My little brother was in for the dreaded spanking and we all knew it. The old man ( as I call our father) love to humiliate us in front of others. It was fun for him.

Well he asks my little brother one question… expecting the correct answer, but not the one he got….

Father: Roy, Whose the father of the lie?

My little brother takes a second and has his index finger in his mouth, slowly removes the finger and says without missing a beat…Points at the old man and says with a little question…

Roy: You Are?

The whole room busted out in laughter. No one could hold it back. Even the old man had to laugh. He pushed Roy off his lap and said : “Get out of here!”

Our mother looked at the old man and politely said threw laughter of her own… “That’s what you get for asking a loaded question!”

So the next time you ask your son or daughter “Who do you think you are?” You better be ready for the answer…. Kids are, many times with out trying,  comics. On my little brothers part… He only heard “Whose the Father…. ” Boy did the old man walk face first into that one!

Man Down vs Monster


Ok here in the U.S.A. there is such a thing as freedom of expression… art and other wise. but when does it go too far? For the past week or so everyone has been weighing in on the Rihanna video and song Man Down, In the song and video she sings about a girl who shoots and kills her rapist. The video is a bit graphic as it does show her shoot her attacker in a train station full of people. She has good aim too because she shoots him square in the head. The Parents Television Council  wants her video banned. Well there are  far worse videos out there if you ask me. Here are some of the lyrics to Rhianna’s song:

MAN DOWN

didn’t mean to end his life
I know it wasn’t right
I can’t even sleep at night
Can’t get it off my mind
I need to get out of sight
Before I end up behind bars

What started out as a simple altercation
Turned into a real sticky situation
Me just thinking on the time that I’m facing
Makes me wanna cry

‘Cause I didn’t mean to hurt him
Could’ve been somebody’s son
And I took his heart when
I pulled out that gun

didn’t mean to end his life
I know it wasn’t right
I can’t even sleep at night
Can’t get it off my mind
I need to get out of sight
Before I end up behind bars

What started out as a simple altercation
Turned into a real sticky situation
Me just thinking on the time that I’m facing
Makes me wanna cry

‘Cause I didn’t mean to hurt him
Could’ve been somebody’s son
And I took his heart when
I pulled out that gun ….

           

Now she sings about shooting a man. Killing him. And how she feels about it. The video shows her having a great day enjoying friends and laughing, then going partying with her girls. Nothing wrong in that. Everyone does that. She then dances with a nice looking young man and he seems to think there will be more than just dancing. She eventually leaves the club, begins to walk home alone. When Mr. club man shows up walking right behind her. He pushes her into a dark alley. And we are left to assume he does in fact rape the girl Rihanna portrays in the video. So whats a girl to do? She is left crying, hurt, humiliated, and shattered. Her next resort? She gets her Gun, she named Peggy Sue, goes to the train station. Where she tracked him down and she aims her gun, pulls the trigger and kills him dead on the spot. So The Parents Television Council is all up in arms about her video. Because its violent! Well what about all the other videos that show violence against women, or anyone else? I haven’t heard a peep out of The Parents Television Council until now and they are screaming foul on Ri-Ri’s video? I get what she is saying. As a former victim myself I did indeed want to kill my attacker. I had it all planned out. In great detail too. But then I realized.. He isn’t worth MY time! So I did one better, I reported him and he did pay and still is! But violence against anyone isn’t the answer, I do get it trust me!  Now onto my next video subject. Kanye West’s new video and song Monster. In the “song” if you can call a rappers music.. Songs, He is talking about needing to see the Mother F***ing hands of his fans at a concert, and that he is a monster. But the video on the other hand is so grossly violent and just plain sick its hard to watch it at all. At one point he is holding the severed head of a young woman by the hair in his hands   in other scenes he is sitting in a bed with two attractive young women… who you finally realize are very much, DEAD!  as he poses them into other positions. The video if you ask me crosses over lines that Rihanna’s didn’t even touch. He is portraying a serial killer. Where as Rihanna’s is about   Vigilantism, Kanye’s is just about being well.. sick! At what point do we as a country say enough? At what point do we as a country say “You have officially crossed the line?” Where does all the violence end. Once again its violence against women in a video that is too graphic for television. This video, MONSTER needs an R rating for violence. I can’t imagine when The Parents Television Council started crying about what Rihanna does as a role model, Which that isn’t her job. And yet turn a blind eye to Kanye. So where is their sense of decency now? I think if I have to watch a video on T.V. and I can’t leave, my choice would have to be MAN DOWN, at least Rihanna isn’t holding a severed head in her hands. I just believe Hollywood as a whole has indulged this sort of art form for far too long. I have to agree with a statement another artist posted on his Twitter the other day.. “What Ever Happened To Happy Music?”  Music should be about happiness and joy. Even if it is singing the blues, it doesn’t have to objectify women, kill people, or rape either. It should inspire and make everyone dream of what they could do positively in their lives to make a difference. Man Down verses Monster? Man Down is like a day in the park. Where as Monster is like a living nightmare! Or just maybe that’s Mr. West’s point. You decide… let me know.

Dogs Have Owners, Cats Have Servants!


His name is Tiger. He is a little orange and white Tabby, He behaves as if he owns the house and the people in it. His favorite thing to do is get into everything. You would think at the ripe old age of one he would have settled down by now. But nope, He still must get what ever it is you have, claw things he shouldn’t and open cabinets. his main desire in life right now is to get into my closet. I swear it is like a challenge to him. He is totally obsessed with the door and trying to open it. But there is an art form to his opening or should I say trying to open the closet. You see he must wait until 4:30 in the morning to get started. Why does he do that? I dont know he is a cat, Go figure! Any way 4:30 is the official start time. It wakes me up and I tell him to stop, spray him with water from a spray bottle.. to no avail of course. He loves to play in water, so it really doesn’t bother him. He then resorts to hiding on me. Pretending to have left the room… when he is hiding where he thinks I cant see him.. Lying flat on the bedroom floor… Power of invisibility there. or dodging to the foot of my bed. I surely cant see him there. Yeah right for a smart cat, he isn’t that bright. I see him all to well. Maybe he knows humans really cant see in the dark… so he will just blend because the stupid human cant see …in the dark.

He loves to have your attention, but then wants you to just go away. The look on his face definitely says that! But while he must have your attention he will cuddle on you and meow ever so sweetly. And I fall for this every time… Just to turn into his favorite chew toy. But his little face is so cute I must pet him and give him some love and then boom he attacks. Almost a military move, if you ask me! His days are filled with watching the birds out side and wishing to catch one. But I think if he ever did he would be like Wild E. Coyote in the Road Runner cartoons… wouldn’t know what to do next! But nun the less he wants one of those flying things outside. Now mind you, Tigger is a house cat, pampered beyond belief and knows nothing of the outside world. But he wants those birds!

When I am cleaning the house and I go into the bathroom to wash the tub, He follows me in there and has to watch everything . The next thing I know he is right on the edge of the tub playing with the water, then eventually he gets into the tub and watches the water come closer to where he is. He does the same to the sinks too. But he doesn’t get in them just paws the water to his mouth and gets a drink of water. Thus Mr. Tigger loves water!

With all his little personality quirks and the fact he does steel from time to time ( He stole a pair of my nylons and made it into a play thing ) I love him all the same. I just wish he would stop the late night early morning closet attack. But then he wouldn’t be Tigger. There is alot more to this little cat. And I will save those adventures for another time. But he has my heart. And I do believe he thinks; ” Dogs have owners, Cats have servants!” If that isnt what he is thinking it sure is how he acts!!