Have you ever heard someone say ” Wow it was like looking in to the face of pure evil!” ? Well that’s what this post is about. There are many forms of that very statement. Some literal, some metaphorical. This is the metaphorical kind. I was married to someone I thought was my best friend. He was sweet to me while we were dating, and so affectionate after we were first married. He would wait on me hand and foot, and take care of me when I was sick, buy me flowers. Spoil me rotten.
I thought I had the best husband in the world. Then something happened. After the birth of our first son, he seemed to kind of change. He was still loving and sweet, but he would also make me feel like an idiot for things. I had been in a serious accident nine months before our first son was born. I was hit by a car, knocked 25 feet out of a cross walk, And the police said I should have been dead. I had just found out that day I was going to have my first baby, We were excited. We chose to go for a walk in the evening with his aunt and uncle. We were headed to a school to swing on the swings and the guys were going to shoot some hoops. As We entered the cross walk to cross the road at 39th Avenue and Thomas, one car stopped to let us cross, as I stepped out in front of the car that stopped another passed around that car and ran straight into me! A pedestrian walking in an obvious school cross walk. I had a broken knee, broken nose, contusions, abrasions, my right leg was knocked out of joint and I actually remember putting it back in place myself, By dragging my body around until the leg was popped back into its socket. The knee however, was jammed.
Well I spent three months in the hospital, I had to learn how to walk again. My husband had told me if I ever walked again he would take me dancing… He never did! He told me that he only made me that promise because he thought I would never walk again. That statement was so hurtful!
Well after I had our third child, and third son… That’s when the changes really started. He would say and do things to make me feel worthless, ugly, stupid. He loved calling me Stup (Stoop) to indicate what he really thought of me. At 24 he was calling me an old hag… We are the same age! I was the stay at home mother raising his three sons and taking care of bills and other important things. He was the bread-winner and would let me know HE was the bread-winner in no uncertain terms! He once told me; ” Until You Get A Job and Start Paying A Few Bills You Have No Say In This House!” No say in my own home? A home where I took care of his children, cleaned his dirty laundry, cooked his meals, and kept the house clean all to keep him happy? And I had no say in my home!
I kept plugging along, trying to hang in there as I don’t believe in divorce, I would do what ever I thought he wanted me to do just to make him happy. Still the insults would come. Your too fat, your too thin, you look old, Donda, Muy Fail, Stup, It ( short for idiot), Nag, hag, Face ( short for BIG face) your too tall. no matter what he would insult me. I didn’t graduate high school, and I guess he felt that gave him the right to call me stupid. The thing is that I was in a very abusive household where my own father was molesting me. He forced me to quit school, so he could have me at home all the time. That was the first time I looked into the face of pure EVIL! That man stole my childhood, and my innocence all because he thought I had no shame. NO SHAME? For what I was 11 years old when it all started! I was a little girl. Not like the 11 year old’s of today, I was very much a child, had childish thinking. And played with dolls and climbed trees with my brothers. But that disgusting excuse of a person committed a crime against me I can not and will not ever forgive him for! To me he is Satan!
I had found out that my husband was cheating on me. Not with just one woman, no… but with several! All of whom worked in the same police department as he, or some hoochie’s he met on his beat. They spanned all ages, races, and types. Though he seemed to favor the real fat and ugly ones! Then I started finding porn. At first it was one tape here then one there. Then two, then six, ten. Until I was finding stacks as tall as a three-year old. Dirty magazines, Oui, Play Boy, Pent House, Hustler, Ect, ect, ect. I had found out that one or two of such things was normal. But the amount he had, was very abnormal. I would question him on it and at first he tried to convince me that the maintenance guy of our apartments was leaving them in our home. When that didn’t work.. then it was a mystery how they got there but it wasn’t him! Eventually I got pregnant one more time, This time with our daughter. I thought it would fix everything. As he always wanted a little girl! But it didn’t fix a thing. He just made me feel badly if I had to go to the doctor and he had to be the one to take me. Or if I needed anything. Well I was just imposing upon him. He just hated me, And it showed. But Like a lot of women, I turned a blind eye. I just tried to make him happy. All the while I became more and more miserable and invisible! He told me once I could never fool him, as he knew me too well. Well I said the same thing to him, his answer to that? ” I could be pulling the wool over your eyes right now, and you wouldn’t even know it!” I said No, no he couldn’t do that and that I knew him too well… but I soon found out I was wrong! He was sleeping with allot of women. Buying them gifts, taking them out to dinner, movies… You name it. Things he wouldn’t do for me! He had one special girlfriend named Shanna. She was only 19 or 20 and had a baby. Not his, but a little baby. My husband would tell me he had to work over nights. And that I couldn’t call him at work. But that he would call me. This went on for quite some time. Until I found out about Shanna and three other women. I also found gifts they had given him. I destroyed them all and threw a pair of diamond earrings ( He bought for Shanna ) out of the car window as I was driving about 45 miles per hour! When he came home, his brother and his brothers girlfriend were at the house with the kids and I. I had left his tattered up gifts in a pile on the floor in our bedroom with all the little love sonnets his women wrote him. He got very angry with me. We started arguing with each other. Then it escalated. At one point he was throwing around furniture in our bedroom, I was yelling at him for cheating on me and asking how he could do such a thing. And he would give me cocky answers and say the meanest things to me like . ” Maybe If You did (this or that) I wouldn’t have to see other women!” I remember slapping him three-times across the face. I wanted him to hurt as much as he was hurting me. All he did was give me an evil cocky look and laugh at me! Upon my third swing at him, He picked me up by my neck then pinned me against the wall, grabbed me by my arms at shoulders, and shook me so hard I thought I was going to die, then he took me and threw me into the closet doors ( Which were made of metal) and they bent into the shape of my body. After that he threw me on the floor. The whole time screaming at me. I don’t remember what he said. I went into shock! I was 5’4 and 116 pounds, he was 5’9 and almost 200 pounds, he just brutalized me! After he threw me on the floor his brother and his brother’s girlfriend came running into the room from the up stairs area, His brother told him to stop and calm down, As my husband turned to tell his brother to back off… that’s when the girlfriend came to my defense and said ” Get Your G_Damn Hands Off Her!” He looked at her as if he wanted to kill her, and told his brother to get his “girl” out of his house. Which they did leave. At some point my older brother, who lived in Tennessee at the time, had called and heard everything, right up to the point my husband pulled the phone cord out of the wall and the call fell dead. My brother, not able to get to me, called the Phoenix police told them what he heard and sent them over.
At some point while we were still in the uneven fight, he looked at me and said ” I’m going to pick you up, and throw you through the sliding glass doors, then no one will ever want you!” I remember thinking ” If You Dont Want Me.. Then Why Should You Care? ” Then the fear set in. That he would actually do it! I could even imagine it. See it in vivid color! It terrified me in ways I didn’t know were possible!
The next day after I had to go to the hospital, It turned out I had a concussion from the brutalization of the night before. They called for a police officer to come in, as is customary in abuse cases. He asked me what happened. I told him everything. He asked if I wanted to press charges. I said No as I had four toddlers, and no family out here, and he would lose his job. Without missing a beat the officer said to me ” I can’t stand this anymore! I get calls like this every week, all of you are officers wives and none of you will press charges! I can’t help you if you don’t let me!” I explained why I wouldn’t as the family I had back home were not safe for my children to be around. He said he could understand, but still was upset that I would not press charges.
I spent the next several years married to the most hateful and hurtful man I ever knew. He took away my friends and the trustworthy members of my family. I had no one. He said it was dangerous for me to have friends as they made me think. I laugh at that now, because how do I need others to do my thinking for me. Every time I caught him with his lies and deceit, It was due to my very talented investigation skills! I became quite the little study of the art of deception. I finally became the deceiver. As I knew how to search his cell phone for numbers of girlfriends, and retrieve erased text messages. I even accidentally retrieved deleted texts he thought he wiped out of phone he gave me. I just kept hitting the retrieve button on the phone and suddenly all these filthy messages came up on the phone from him and to him. I was shocked. But I did it! I could search his work files and find love letters and put them back where I found them, and he never knew!
I eventually had enough and decided that I had spent enough time looking in to the face of evil. I told him I wanted a divorce, and that I was through with him. He tried at first to scare me out of it. But when that didn’t work, then he wrote me a sweet little love letter… I almost gag on that term. As there was no love to anything that man did to me! In his letter he said he wanted to get to know me all over again… I told him, to his face, “If you don’t know me by now… you will never know me!” That was the day someone new emerged within me. She was scared, but had massive courage. She was uncertain, but had hope! She was taking over for the scared little person I was and making me stronger! It was a new-found courage I never knew I had before!
Today I am still single. And I prefer to stay that way. He is on his third wife, and the second did to him what he did to me… CHEAT! She left him for another man. Unfortunately, his sorrow didn’t last. His life looks to be pretty happy. New wife, new family, new baby. And here I am all alone. But I am not lonely. I have my children, who are all grown. My friends and my brothers who I adore! These people keep me sane and happy. I know I am worthy of finding someone for me to love who will love me back. But HE has to be worthy of ME!
Gloria Geiger
The music industry has many very talented artists that are admired by many people. Depending on who you talk to one may identify their self as a fan of, or on Team whomever. So what does make a fan? First of all lets look where the word “FAN” from…. Merriam-Webster, the Oxford dictionary and other recognized sources define it as a shortened version of the word fanatic, and the word did first become popular in reference to an enthusiastic follower of a 
Dedication of one kind or another brings about the terms which ever you wish to associate your self with. Chris brown fans, Much like Michael Jackson fans are well-meaning and do support their celebrity to the maximum. They know every word to every song, buy all the C.D’s and anything else they may do or have done. Most of them are pretty well-behaved and respectful. And actually care about the PERSON not just the star.
Michael’s fans .. .the true fans. Stayed devoted to him and his music. They knew he would never harm anyone much less a child. Michael was a one of a kind and there will never be another like him. We all miss him so much every day. And the world seems so much smaller without him in it!
I mean wouldn’t you want to live in such a place. Where our children can go outside and play totally carefree and not have to worry about the perverts of the world even existing at all? To know a young woman ca n live in her home alone or go for a walk alone and not worry about some filthy sick minded man trying to bring harm upon her? She can know that her home is safe and worry free, there being no bump in the night!
